1 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,643 Okay, then, what does that mean? 2 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:22,271 "You fool, you thought you were stealing my inheritance from my mother, 3 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:26,609 but we have the same mother and our father is Diego, the milkman." 4 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:27,902 Nice! 5 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:30,154 If you have a second language when applying to high schools, 6 00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,282 they are more likely to accept you, but we don't have a Spanish class, 7 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:34,368 so I got creative. 8 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,870 I am teaching my students through telenovelas, 9 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,165 or as I like to call it... ...inmersión. 10 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:44,126 Okay, who wants to try on their own? 11 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,211 Yes. 12 00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,094 Translate. 13 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:54,887 "Sometimes I feel like God. 14 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,933 When I order somebody killed, they die the same day." 15 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:02,271 Some of the kids prefer watching Narcos. 16 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,356 Um... Whatever works. 17 00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:22,498 All right, class, can anybody tell me what number we are celebrating tomorrow? 18 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,959 - One hundred! - That's right, 19 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:29,589 we will be celebrating 100 days of school. 20 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,675 The hundredth day of school is a big to-do nowadays. 21 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:35,428 In order to beat the "When is summer break?" blues, 22 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,347 the students dress up as hundred-year-olds and have a parade. 23 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,975 It's a less scary Halloween. 24 00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:44,478 {\an8}Now, 100 pennies is a... 25 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:47,315 {\an8}- Dollar! - A dollar! 26 00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,442 {\an8}One hundred years is a... 27 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,526 {\an8}Long time. 28 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:53,070 {\an8}Close, but we call it a... 29 00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:55,072 {\an8}Century! 30 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:58,743 {\an8}That's right, a century. 31 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:00,661 {\an8}Ms. Howard, it's ringing. 32 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,871 {\an8}Yes, it is ringing. 33 00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,080 {\an8}That's ringing too. 34 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:06,625 {\an8}That is ringing too. You know what? I'm sorry, class, 35 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:10,254 {\an8}my daughter is calling me and I, uh... 36 00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:15,718 {\an8}Okay, okay, so now how do we turn on the video and turn off the ringer? 37 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,263 Help me, Jesus. Help me, Jesus. 38 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,931 I'm Margaret. 39 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,268 {\an8}- Thank you, Margaret. - You're welcome. 40 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:28,314 {\an8}Taylor, sweetheart, why are you calling me on every device in the world? 41 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,440 {\an8}What's wrong? 42 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,985 Nothing's wrong. We have some good news. 43 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,486 We're pregnant. 44 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:37,448 Class, I'm gonna be a grandmother! 45 00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:40,993 Oh, my gosh! Sweetheart! 46 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,455 {\an8}And we're moving back to Philly so we can be near you and Dad. 47 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:50,294 {\an8}Oh! I have been praying so long for that to happen. Yes, God is good. 48 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:55,842 {\an8}I can't wait to see you with our little bundle of joy every single day. 49 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,468 {\an8}Every day? 50 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,261 {\an8}Every day. 51 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,931 {\an8}Well... Oh. 52 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,808 {\an8}Well, what should I be called as a grandmother? 53 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:07,144 {\an8}I mean, um, Gigi? Hmm. Yaya? 54 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,980 {\an8} Baba? No. 55 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:12,566 {\an8}Lady Baba. Yes. 56 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:16,404 {\an8} Oh, but tell me this: Did I miss the wedding? 57 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,864 {\an8}Uh, you're cutting out. Okay, I love you, Mom. 58 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,492 {\an8}Yeah, I love you too, baby. 59 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:28,457 {\an8}Oh, class, we are dancing for 100 seconds of joy. 60 00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:35,256 {\an8}"Possums" can be spelled with an O or a P, depending on where the animals live. 61 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,550 Dia, if I find out you're lying... 62 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,385 Please let me go back to work. 63 00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,887 Good morning, ladies. Got a few tickets, 64 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:45,516 uh, for one of them under "reasons" you just put "flood." 65 00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:48,394 {\an8}One of Gregory's students poured water on his computer, hoping to make it grow. 66 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:50,938 {\an8}It's kind of adorable. 67 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:55,234 Okay, well, you know where Gregory's room is. 68 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,571 Oh, yeah. Uh, I'll get right on it. 69 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,617 He is so annoying. 70 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,952 Why is he so annoying? 71 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,371 First, you're nosy. 72 00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:09,707 Second, he stays in my phone, but he hasn't asked me out. 73 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:12,334 He keeps asking me about my interests and hobbies and stuff. 74 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,919 - Sounds awful. - Watch your tone. 75 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,046 I'm just used to a more forward man, you know? 76 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,590 I don't wanna talk about my favorite movie. 77 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:20,050 I want to talk about what you gonna do to me. You gonna me? 78 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,887 me? 79 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:23,971 me? 80 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,514 But it's okay, cause it's mutual. 81 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,476 I'ma you too, you know what I'm saying? 82 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:31,854 Just so you know, I am slowly building my case. 83 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:34,482 So? Your turn. 84 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,567 Hey, Ava, what time is the parade tomorrow? 85 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:39,737 Wondering if the whole afternoon is a wash or if we have time to teach one thing. 86 00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:41,447 - 1:30. - Wash. 87 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:44,950 Hey, Jacob, can you hand me an apple, please? Thank you. 88 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,952 No, oh, one of the organic ones. 89 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,246 I can handle the pesticides, but it's for Sweet Cheeks. 90 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,373 I gotta watch out for his sensitive tum-tum. 91 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:53,125 Totally. It's not like he eats his own poo. 92 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,170 He did that one time and it was because you frightened him 93 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:59,215 and that's probably why he's been lethargic and not using his wheel. 94 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,175 Or it could be because he's a pea-brained rat. 95 00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,302 - Whoa! - "Rat" is crazy. 96 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,262 Run. Count to ten. 97 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,224 Everybody, I have big news! 98 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:10,684 - You're getting married. - No, I'm already married. 99 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,686 - My inversion table has arrived. - No. 100 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:13,771 Janine pregnant again? 101 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:18,317 My baby is having a baby! I'm gonna be a grandmother! 102 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,862 Oh, my God! Yes! Yay. Finally. 103 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:22,947 Finally. 104 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:26,659 Gregory, how does it feel now that your girlfriend, Barb's fake daughter, 105 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,829 is gonna be a fake aunt to your ex-girlfriend's baby, 106 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,582 which makes you a fake uncle to your "could have been" child? 107 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,542 What's wrong with you? 108 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:37,419 Oh, Barbara, you are going to be such a great grandmother. 109 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,213 - Mm-hmm. - I wish I had met my grandmas. 110 00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:40,548 I wish I had more time with mine. 111 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,633 You two are a match made in heaven. 112 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,761 Constantly sucking the air out of the room. Damn. 113 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,512 Aw. Thank you. 114 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:50,683 I had two amazing nonnas. One had eyes like a hawk. 115 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,143 She could spot a wire under a wool sweater. 116 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,604 The other one: hearing like a wax moth. 117 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,691 She could hear the rustle of the wire under a silk blouse. 118 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,193 Um, are all of your grandmothers dead? 119 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,820 Oh, no. One of mine is still alive. 120 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,697 She doesn't remember who I am, but it doesn't matter 121 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:07,032 because she has the two things that every good grandma needs: 122 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,451 hypertension and a muumuu. 123 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:11,745 - A muumuu? - You'll never find one in my closet, 124 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,373 but every grandmother worth her weight in salt has one. 125 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,959 It's a dress, a blanket, and a napkin all in one. 126 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,086 I long for that kind of efficiency in a garment. 127 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:22,006 - Yeah, Barb is too young for muumuus. - Thank you. 128 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,966 One grandchild does not mean it's muumuu time. 129 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,050 Uh-huh. 130 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,760 The male body can withstand a muumuu. 131 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,053 I wouldn't mind a "menmuu." 132 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,682 Hey, you gotta stop pitching the "menmuu." We talked about this. 133 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,559 - It's an untapped market. - No. 134 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,938 Good instinct, but, um, that usually only works on small electronics. 135 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,441 - Ah. Well, it's worth a try. - Yeah. 136 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:44,195 I told you teachers, keep your hands off my grains. 137 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,991 Attention, Abbott Elementary. I need to drink more water, 138 00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:51,452 and it would be nice if you all helped me with that moving forward. 139 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,037 That is all. For now. 140 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,166 She's hilarious. 141 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,709 - Is she? - Yeah, man. 142 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,670 I think she's cute. I'm gonna ask her out. 143 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,797 What? Oh, my God. Finally. 144 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,634 I've been waiting for this moment ever since I saw you two in my classroom. 145 00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,886 - Where did you come from? - Forget where I came from. 146 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,721 Where you gonna go with Ava? 147 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,390 - Uh... Dinner? - Oh, okay. 148 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,225 - You're gonna take Ava to a restaurant. - Okay. Yeah. 149 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,187 All right. You know, just make sure it has Michelin stars, plural. 150 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:20,105 And if you're thinking about going to a movie after, 151 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,024 she said on multiple occasions, premieres only. 152 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:25,069 Mm-hmm. And if you're thinking mini golf... ...don't be an idiot. 153 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,779 - Gigantic golf. Yeah. - Thanks. All right. 154 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,614 - I'll try to keep all this in mind. - Mm-hmm. 155 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:32,910 Maybe she'll like a nice gigantic walk in the park or something. 156 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:38,582 - Nice walk in the park. - Oh God, he's gonna crash and burn. 157 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,042 - We have so much work to do. - Yeah. 158 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,418 - Clear your schedule. - Mm-hmm. 159 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:44,088 Okay, so... Oh! 160 00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,172 What are we doing? 161 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:48,008 Look, I'm sorry I snapped yesterday and called Sweet Cheeks a rat. 162 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,469 In my culture, people have been whacked for that. 163 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,553 Well, as an apology, 164 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,682 um, I know you were concerned about his cardiovascular health, 165 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,601 and so I researched, and... 166 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,104 Aw! 167 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:03,149 Jacob, that is so sweet. 168 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,776 But don't touch him or his cage again. Capisce? 169 00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:08,278 - Yeah. - Okay, look at you. 170 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,948 He actually jumped in there himself like a duck takes to water. 171 00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:14,076 Look at him. He's having a ball. 172 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:17,913 Yeah, you know, I'm really sorry I get so dramatic about this little stinkpot. 173 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,708 He's just like a light in my life when I needed it most, 174 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:24,002 and if anything ever happened to him, I might run into traffic, you know? 175 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,881 Aw, what, did you run out of gas already, bubba? 176 00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,008 Oh, he's probably just, uh, tired. 177 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,261 Like you said, he's not used to all that exercise. 178 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,638 Jacob. Jacob, what did you do? 179 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,724 - Oh boy. Okay, don't worry. - Oh, my God. 180 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:39,309 - How fast could he run? - Six miles per hour. 181 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,061 Twice as fast as a human can walk, 182 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,480 especially if that human has two broken knees. 183 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,065 - Uh-huh. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 184 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:47,068 Everybody stay still! Stay still! 185 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,946 Sweet Cheeks. 186 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:55,284 Good morning, old ones. Yes, all of you centenarians. 187 00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:58,620 Well, be careful of that back now. 188 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:01,081 My "arthritises" are acting up. 189 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,625 Your "arthritises"? Eh. 190 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,335 Oh, I love your muumuu. 191 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:09,548 Now, that is an appropriate use of a muumuu on a hundred-year-old. 192 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,008 Thank you, Mrs. Howard. 193 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,384 You're welcome. 194 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:16,889 Oh, little Miss Margaret. Girl, you look fabulous. 195 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,184 Thank you. I'm you. 196 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,479 - You who? - I'm dressed as you. 197 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,980 Well, why would you be dressed as me? 198 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,648 'Cause you're a hundred years old. 199 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,029 I am not a hundred years old. 200 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:35,365 Well you're the oldest person we know. Say, you a grandma. 201 00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:38,243 Okay, first of all, the oldest person you know is Mr. Johnson, 202 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,537 and secondly, grandmothers can be young. 203 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:43,123 You're way older than my grandma. 204 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:46,668 You're even older than Mrs. Teagues, and she's like 50. 205 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,213 Ms. Teagues is neither 50 nor a grandmother. 206 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,673 - Mrs. Howard, don't be sad. - Yes? 207 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,634 You look great for 100. 208 00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:57,012 Sure do, Barb. You gotta tell me your secret. 209 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,474 I wanna look that good when I'm your age. 210 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:05,105 She younger than me? Damn. There I was, trying to be nice. 211 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:06,730 Oh, no. 212 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,024 I am so sorry I lost Sweet Cheeks, Melissa. 213 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,234 I don't wanna hear it right now. 214 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,277 The only thing that's important is finding Sweet Cheeks. 215 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,029 Everyone knows that finding a missing guinea pig 216 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,948 in the first 48 minutes is critical. 217 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,449 We need a picture. What does he look like? 218 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,992 What do you mean, "What does he look like?" 219 00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,870 He's a guinea pig. He's brown fur, white spots, whiskers. 220 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:22,955 You don't need to be nasty. 221 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,499 Last time I saw him he was wearing a red wig and a pleather jacket. 222 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,793 How am I supposed to know what his drip is gonna be today? 223 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:31,380 Okay, I gotta take my kids down to the library for the hundred-day photos. 224 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,674 I'll look in there. You take the teacher's lounge. 225 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,175 - Okay. - I'll take my closet. 226 00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,844 Anyone else will get lost in there. 227 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:39,638 Okay, search party on. Meet you in the cafeteria in 30 minutes. 228 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,765 Sweet Cheeks! 229 00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:48,690 Hey, Ava. 230 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:53,403 Hey, just out of curiosity, do you have a favorite place you like to go? 231 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,946 - The bank. - Oh, okay, interesting. 232 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,823 And do you have like a favorite thing? 233 00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,033 - Money. - Mmm. All right. 234 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,952 And what's something you like to do for fun? 235 00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:05,080 Take my money to the bank. Now get away from me, Janine. 236 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,332 Okay, girlfriend. 237 00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,960 - Hey, so I have some intel for you. - Hey. 238 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:11,545 I'm just working on something right now. 239 00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,046 - On places where you can take Ava. - Okay. 240 00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,716 Have you ever heard of the Department of the US Treasury? 241 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,176 And you would not believe it, 242 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:22,389 but she came dressed as me because she thought I was a hundred years old. 243 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:25,559 Barb, these kids have no idea how old any of us are. Watch. 244 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,352 Andrew, guess our ages? 245 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,230 - Not touching that. - Smart kid. 246 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:32,274 Stevenson, how old do you think we all are? 247 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,568 - Forty-nine years old. - Pretty close. 248 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,612 - Thirty-seven years old. - Spiritually, yeah. 249 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,739 - And you're 19. - Well, thank you. 250 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:41,158 - See? No idea how old we are. - Yeah. Yeah. 251 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:42,367 Sixty-three. 252 00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:44,828 Why? I'm poreless. 253 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,580 I don't know. Your cardigan, 254 00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:49,249 your pearls, the way you wear your phone around your neck. 255 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,667 - It's practical. - Also... 256 00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:53,338 ...the way you talk like this. 257 00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:55,464 You have a diction from an olden time. 258 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:59,302 You know, you're a mighty fresh young man. And that doesn't mean I like your outfit. 259 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,431 - Hey, man. So about this Ava thing... - Yo. Yo, yo. 260 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:05,599 Uh-huh. 261 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,060 You sure you wanna do this Ava thing? 262 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:09,520 You know, she did date Andre Iguodala. 263 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,438 She still might be. 264 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,232 Oh, you know, if she is then she'll say no. 265 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,484 But if not, maybe she'll say yes. 266 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,070 Yeah, okay. Um... 267 00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:21,491 Hypothetically speaking, do you think you could secure a boat? 268 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,618 Or like a yacht? 269 00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:25,452 In Philly? 270 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:26,746 Yes. 271 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:33,711 Aha! 272 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,255 Man, what are you doing? 273 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,048 I was looking for Sweet Cheeks. 274 00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:40,717 Thought he might be under there in a Ratatouille situation. 275 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,887 Man, I don't need no damn rodent to help me clean. 276 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,180 Anything? 277 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,557 I thought I had found him, but it turned out to be a mirage 278 00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:49,434 - and/or an astigmatism. - I got nothing. 279 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:53,146 I can't believe this. Jacob, you are dead to me, and I mean it this time. 280 00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:56,775 Okay, I'm... I'm so sorry, okay, but we will find him. All right? 281 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:57,859 We can't lose hope. 282 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,570 Well, you better hope that we find him soon 283 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,907 because there's about to be a parade of kids stomping through here. 284 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,619 No guinea pig should have to face Timberlands, Jacob. 285 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,453 Timberlands. 286 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,501 Hello, Eva. Oh, what are you drawing there? 287 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:17,004 Marlon Brando as Vito Corleone. 288 00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,507 Wow, that's... ...actually very good. 289 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,049 What's up, Barb? 290 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:24,929 Well, Ava, you know, you dress so well. Youthful, really. 291 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,515 You sound like you're trying to borrow my car. What's going on, Barbara? 292 00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:30,267 I need a makeover. Help me, please. 293 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:34,271 I've been waiting for you to ask me for a makeover since the moment we met. 294 00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,231 It's time to throw out those pearls, Barb. 295 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:39,943 Oh, no, these pearls will be placed respectfully in my pocketbook, 296 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,070 right next to my peppermints, thank you. 297 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,155 But I was thinking, 298 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:46,074 why don't I stop by after work so I can have a styling session? 299 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,285 No, follow me. 300 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:53,124 Because why go to my place when the clothes can come to you? 301 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,418 Just got this bad boy installed. 302 00:13:56,419 --> 00:14:00,172 Another "gift" courtesy of Miles Nathaniel and the team at Girard Creek. 303 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:03,050 - Wow. - Ooh. I'm gonna Miss Congeniality you. 304 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,968 - Yes. - No, Princess Diaries. 305 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:08,097 - Ooh. - Ooh, no. Love and Basketball. 306 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,975 Ooh, White Chicks. Oh, wait, sorry. Wrong movie. 307 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,853 - Unless? - Oh, no, no, no, not that movie. 308 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,564 Those Olsen twins, oh, they scare me. 309 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:21,485 Oh, no, that's... Let's get to it. 310 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,904 Look over there. Sweet Cheeks, baby. 311 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,656 Come here. 312 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,450 Melissa, you sound ridiculous. It goes like this. 313 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:32,746 My God, there's a parade about to start soon... 314 00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:35,290 Chirp, chirp, chirp. ...-and my little stinker is out here alone 315 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,043 with terrible depth perception. 316 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:39,753 What are you doing, Jacob? 317 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:42,297 Uh, it's the Ellis method. It's used by lifeguards. 318 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:46,635 It's the most efficient way of scanning... Oh, no, I'm making myself dizzy. 319 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:49,221 - Oh, my God. Mmm. - What? You found him? 320 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:52,057 I see two sweet cheeks, but it sure ain't your boy. 321 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,142 - Oh. - Hello, everybody. 322 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:57,021 I'm so sorry that we're late. 323 00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:58,606 Wow. 324 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:06,029 All right, class, remember when the music starts, so do we. 325 00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:08,031 Hey, Barbara. Hey, you okay? 326 00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:11,743 - Yes, I'm fine, in more ways than one. - Okay. 327 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,287 Yes, you are. 328 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:18,875 I see you, Mrs. Howard. Okay, look. 329 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,461 Thank you, Crystal. 330 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,671 ♪ Do you really want to live forever? ♪ 331 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,381 There you are, you little bugger. 332 00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:26,842 - We've been worried sick. - Oh! You found him? 333 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,052 I did. 334 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,262 Mr. Johnson, that is not Sweet Cheeks. 335 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:34,099 I know that. You're not the only person that loses things, Jacob. 336 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:37,936 Bad news. Something chewed through these cables. You guys might have mice. 337 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,605 - Let me see that wire. - Here. 338 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:43,401 That's not a mice bite. That's a guinea pig nibble. 339 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,362 And it's fresh. Sweet Cheeks is around here somewhere. 340 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,406 Now a special surprise. 341 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:53,410 The Abbott Elementary step team performing to Kirk Franklin "Stomp." 342 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,747 - Okay. Don't freak out. - They're gonna stomp him. 343 00:15:57,373 --> 00:16:00,500 They're gonna stomp him. No stomping, for the love of God. 344 00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:01,918 He could be... 345 00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,336 Stomp carefully! 346 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:04,671 ♪ Glory, Glory ♪ 347 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,174 All right... No. 348 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,343 - We should make an announcement. - Yeah. Okay. 349 00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:11,762 Stop stomping! 350 00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:14,347 It's fine. He's probably not even in this room. Um... 351 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,892 ♪ Lately, I've been going Through some things ♪ 352 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,768 ♪ That's really got me down ♪ 353 00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,103 I love this song. 354 00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,480 - Some of their moves. - Stomp carefully. No! 355 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,357 - Stop it! - Sorry. Sorry. 356 00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,901 ♪ Somebody to help me ♪ 357 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:30,572 Barbara looks, uh, super fly. Dressed to kill as some would say. 358 00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:33,950 Oh, um... Was she wearing that earlier? 359 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:36,077 No, and I don't even know where she got that outfit. 360 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,788 Avalicious clothing company, where comfort comes second. 361 00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:41,166 - She said she wanted a makeover. - What? Why? 362 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,627 I don't ask why. I just change lives like Queer Eye. 363 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:46,087 Not everyone gets into everybody's business, Janine. 364 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,131 - I'm gonna look into it. - Of course you are. 365 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,801 Are her heels lopsided or is she veering left for balance? 366 00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:52,720 All right. Whoo. 367 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,641 Oh, we're never gonna find him. 368 00:16:57,141 --> 00:17:00,101 This is what I get for opening my heart to love. 369 00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,686 Look. 370 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:05,566 Wigs don't have legs. Ah! Oh, my God. 371 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,234 Oh! 372 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:10,362 - I'm so sorry I lost you, buddy. - Come here. Come here. Come here. 373 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,366 You should have told me he's wearing a wig. I could've found him earlier. 374 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,327 Oh, Lord. 375 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:22,625 Hey, Barb. Just wanted to pop by and say how much I love your new look. 376 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,835 - Thanks, Janine. - Out of curiosity, what inspired it? 377 00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:28,005 - Just wanted to try something new. - Mm-hmm. 378 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,465 - Ava gave me these jeans... - Mmm. 379 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,759 ...said a man named Florida wrote a song about 'em. 380 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:33,844 Ah, yes. 381 00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:36,805 Well, you are certainly going to be the coolest looking grandma 382 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,808 this side of the Pennsylvania Turnpike. 383 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,226 And there's that word again. 384 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,894 - Turnpike? - Grandma. 385 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,105 Oh, yeah. 386 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:46,357 Is that what's getting to you? 387 00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:52,821 Taylor's moving back home, and she's gonna want me to watch the baby all the time. 388 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:56,241 - Isn't that a good thing? - Obviously, yes, it is a good thing, 389 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,993 but what if it becomes my whole life? 390 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:01,246 I mean, what if I'm retired sitting at home in a muumuu 391 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:04,082 watching my grandchild before I joineth the Lord? 392 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,292 No, Barb. Not joineth. 393 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:08,169 Just not ready to be that old that fast. 394 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,714 Well, you don't have to do it that way, 395 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,966 and you can set boundaries with Taylor, 396 00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,595 and you get to decide what kind of grandma you are. 397 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:20,390 By the way, you can never be one of those muumuu-wearing grandmas 398 00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:25,021 because you're cool. And you're glam. You're "glamma." Huh. 399 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:29,900 Janine. 400 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,820 You have gotten much better about giving advice. 401 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:39,284 Well, I have this wonderful mentor in my life 402 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:42,413 who taught me about the importance of setting boundaries. 403 00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:45,832 That person's name is Jacob. 404 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:49,670 Just kidding. It's you. It's you. 405 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,633 Glamma. 406 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,635 - Glamma. - Right? 407 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,055 - You know, that has a nice ring to it. - Yep. 408 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:04,309 Yeah. I'm gonna call Taylor and have a nice little chat with her. 409 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,394 Okay. 410 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,064 - Where's your phone? - I have no idea. 411 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:13,943 You know, I do not know how you young people do this without phone necklaces. 412 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,904 - Honestly, we drop a lot of phones. - Mm-hmm. 413 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,697 - Yeah, you might be onto something. Good. - Mmm. 414 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:21,493 - Oh, but I got my gloss. Yes. Come on now. - Oh, okay. Beautiful. 415 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,911 Glamma, baby. Glamma. 416 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,871 So he rents out the theater and the red carpet. 417 00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:27,624 - She thinks it's a private premiere. - We can get carpet anywhere. 418 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:28,583 - Oh, hey. - Hey, hey, hey. 419 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:29,834 - How you doing? - Good. 420 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,169 - So we have been talking... - Uh-huh. 421 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,962 ...and we have figured out the perfect date proposal. 422 00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,506 You will need 423 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,633 - a helicopter. Uber Blade. - A helicopter. 424 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,177 Because she loves helicopters, and she loves Blade. 425 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,097 Try to make it seem like it's not a rideshare. 426 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,848 - How will he pretend it's not a rideshare? - We talked about this. 427 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,226 By pretending to find something expensive of his on the ground. 428 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:47,852 But, like, what expensive though? We didn't-- 429 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,939 Because he's gonna say, "Oh, my God, my expensive watch." 430 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:52,857 You wanna go on a date with me? 431 00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,443 - Yes. - All right, I'll text you. 432 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,821 I know. I'm saying it can be anything. It's not about that. All right? 433 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,906 - Like a whole chandelier? - I'm just throwing out options... 434 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,282 - All right. - Hey. Oh, whoa. 435 00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,159 - Hey. What happened? Did she say yes? - What happened? 436 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,703 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 437 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,914 Took all your wonderful advice. Thanks, guys. 438 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,542 - We slayed that. - Yeah, we... 439 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:11,836 Say slay. 440 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,754 ...did. Yeah. 441 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,840 - She's gonna eat him alive. Mm-hmm. - I know. 442 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,675 You look really pretty, Mom. 443 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,552 Just something I'm trying today. 444 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:24,764 Sweetheart, I'm so excited about your big news and becoming a grandmother. 445 00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:27,642 And your father and I, we want to watch the baby, 446 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,395 but we can't provide full-time childcare. 447 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:31,730 Of course, Mom, we get it. 448 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:35,025 And don't worry, Paul's parents said that they want to watch the baby too. 449 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,527 Now wait a minute. That's my glam child. 450 00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:38,945 Your what? - Oh. 451 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:42,073 I would like to be called "Glamma." 452 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:45,660 Um... See, Paul's mom is actually going by that. 453 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,163 The hell she is. 454 00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:50,498 Yes? 455 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:51,958 I heard what you did for Barbara. 456 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,960 I was wondering if you could give me a little zhuzh. 457 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,628 I only have women's clothes. 458 00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,089 Well, I'm game. 459 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:58,674 Hold this. 460 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,344 Hey, is this me? 461 00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,054 {\an8}Yeah, sure. 462 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,851 {\an8}Here, try this. 463 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,565 {\an8}Holy Cowboy Calling. I look incredible. 464 00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:19,068 {\an8}Yee. And allow me to stress, haw. 465 00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:21,280 Yeah.